A Light at the End of a Long Tunnel

So along with it being a new year comes the relief of knowing that our BIG loan should be paid off sometime this year. We knew four years would go by really fast yet at the same time it has seemed to last forever. We are hoping to get money back from taxes and pay it off sooner. We have a few family members to pay back and a few other bills to pay down, but to know we will be done with it going to one place every month will be nice and then when everything is squared away being able to save will be the best. We look forward to being able to have a savings for us and the girls. Extra money for groceries even!! I don't want to go crazy when we have extra money, but I really am looking forward to being able to go get groceries and splurge on a 12 pack of pop if I want. Not that I haven't, but every time I get groceries we really have had to try and stick to a strict budget to pull ourselves out of a deep hole and bad spending habits. I give most of the credit to my mom. She has been supportive of us through this all. Borrowed money if she had too, took time to talk it out with use and offered ideas, but never once did she lecture me. She knew I felt bad enough about our situation and she just wanted to help. Her biggest help has been the "BILL BOOK". At one time or another she has sat down with all the kids and started us on them. Unfortunately it was when we all started having money issues that she taught us instead of when we were teenagers, but I am just thankful for the lesson. I know where we've been and know I don't want to go back there. I was so excited to receive a new bill book for Christmas. I have the first half of the year planned out...although things always come up. Now I am calculating numbers all the time....Paul can see me starting to turn into my mom. Always trying to save money and budget. I see a lot of people I work with spending money they don't have and that's exactly where we were. It's been helpful for me that I grew up with not a lot of money so there isn't really anything I miss or find I need to have. I guess either I knew it wasn't what I had that was important, but who I was ...or I knew we were so poor there was no point in asking for things. I wouldn't say we were poor either. We had a roof, heat, clothes and food, but we didn't have a ton beyond that. I have to admit through this time it has been hard to sit by and watch my coworkers get take out for lunch everyday or friends wanting to go do things and me not being able too because I couldn't afford to spend the money. Sure I have also had those moments where I wanted to go spend money (even if I didn't have it) just to make myself feel normal. Oh who am I kidding. To make myself feel good. I have had those moments and acted on them too, but then felt guilty and taken things back, but it felt good to by them even if I didn't keep them. I do find myself taking more time to look into seeing what I really "NEED". That's what so funny with Paul. He's an only child and has usually gotten what he wants and he also has expensive taste. Mayme and him are so much alike. You can show them two identical things and without knowing the price they will choose the more expensive. I am more like "whatever gets the job done and is cheap." That's thanks to my parents. So Paul usually hates when he says "We need to get such and such..." He usually cringes as he know what I am going to say..."Do we really NEED it?" We are learning to find happy mediums. :)

So that was a lot there. It has been a really good week. Maybe it was because it was short. Maybe it was because the sun has actually been shining. I don't know, but I really like it. It definently makes work a lot more enjoyable and life in general. May the rest of the year go this way, may I share those happy moments with those I love and perfect strangers and may I always remember what is truly important in this life: To give, live, and love....oh wait that motto has already been taken, but it's a good one...I'll go with that. Cheers!