To Everything Turn, Turn, Turn

So my first post back on here was going to be a bit different, but I think I needed to vent on the issues at hand. By the way WD-40 works well on cleaning up crayon.

So the last few days have really been about reflection. I guess when you get older and move away or on from things in the past you may not be thinking about them, but then all of the sudden something brings you back and you remember that you will never forget where you came from and the life you had as a child. The loss of a friends mother over the weekend really reminded me of a lot of things. How blessed and lucky I am to still have both my parents. How blessed and lucky I was to have the friends I did growing up and their parents. All the fun times we got to share. The friendships that I do have now with those who know me from so long ago. Those people you think didn't mean a whole lot you suddenly realize they do. My teachers in school the neighbors I grew up with. I recognized that I do need to enjoy every moment because no one knows when there time here on earth is going to end or when anyone else's time will end. I was pretty religious up until the time my friend Joy died. I couldn't understand why someone who knew what they wanted to do with their life wouldn't be able to have that opportunity and why someone like me who had no idea what I wanted to do with my life would be here. I noticed from that point on I don't pray as much as I used too and I feel like I am just sleeping sometimes when it come to religion. I do believe in God, but I just find myself doubting sometimes. This whole weekend I just couldn't understand why my friend has had to go through so much and it just seems so cruel that one person would have to endure what she has. I still don't understand and I try to remind myself that it's not for me to understand. Plus I feel incredibly guilty that I wasn't a better friend to her over the last 10 years. But I am trying to leave that and just know that today and everyday I have a new opportunity to be a better person, a better friend, a better mom, a better wife, and be a more open person, a loving person, and forgiving. It's time also to forgive some people and just start new or move on and leave it behind. It's also time I think to visit my bible and spend some time reading all those scriptures I used to know so well.